I’m a procrastinator. I’ll admit it, I like to do my work when I want
to-and frankly, why work on an essay when Netflix is way more fun? I mean,
choose between Breaking Bad and
writing an essay on journalism’s evolution through the ages-yeah, pretty easy choice.
Today, as I was (yet again) avoiding actually being productive by
watching YouTube videos, my mind began to wander. Why is it that I love to
distract myself? And even more than that, why
is it that we, as humans, love to avoid? Not just avoiding responsibilities
in our work lives, but in literally every facet of our existence. We avoid
commitment, hard work, anything that makes us the least bit uncomfortable.
What are we trying to hide from? I chewed over this thought for days, and
suddenly it hit me. We don’t want to
face the idea that our lives are meaningless. When we truly begin to think
about life, we realize that our day-to-day jobs and small chats with the next
door neighbor that we barely know (although we've lived next door to him for 19
years) won’t even register as a blip on the radar of eternity. And honestly,
that’s a pretty scary thought to have. Scary to the point of paralysis.
Humanity loves to revolve the world around OUR feats, OUR successes, OUR newest
inventions. But we have it all backwards. We as humanity weren't there when the
Earth came into being and we certainly won’t be here when it ends. And if
humanity barely makes a blip on the radar-just imagine our individual lives. My
life, my friends’ lives, my family-we probably won’t be remembered in 100
years, unless I decide to drop my English major, become a world-renown
scientist, and discover the cure for cancer. But that probably won’t happen. Everything
I know and everything that makes up me will be forgotten-it’s just a matter of
time. Think about it: How much do you remember of your great-grandparents? How
about your great-great grandparents? See, forgetfulness is just a side effect
of time. Sooner or later we all fade out of the collective consciousness we
call history.
These thoughts are TERRIFYING. I hate to think about them, but it’s these
things I always find that my mind wanders towards whenever I have more than 30
minutes of unadulterated quiet in my life. And when that happens I duck and
cover. That’s why I go onto YouTube, Netflix, or read fantasy books for hours
at a time. I’m looking for an escape. I
don’t want to face the hard questions-and if I may be so bold-I don’t think you
want to either.
So what do we do? Should we face these unanswerable questions head on? Sure.
Every now and then a good dose of reality is important-healthy, even. It’s good
to be put back into our places. But to dwell on these daunting questions all
the time is missing the point. Honestly, what good would it do for all of
humanity to be sitting around, with drinks in hand, sweating over the
inevitable fact of our oblivion? Life isn't about obsessing over our end, it’s about embracing the uncertainty.
Realizing that this life we live is a miracle. Breathing in the beauty of the
ups and downs of our roller coaster world, and riding it with exhilaration until
the end. Trading in our apathy for love, our small chat with purposeful
conversation, our distractions for reactions to make this world a bit better
every day.
The questions of life remain, and they will always be with us. Each one
of us may still end up forgotten by the turn of the millennium. But you know
what? It doesn't matter. This life, when viewed from the true lenses of
eternity, is so infinitesimally short. And
at the end of our lives, what is going to matter most isn’t how secure our legacy
is. What will matter is love and how deeply we loved those we had the
privilege of coming into contact with, even for a short amount of time. Love
for ourselves, for life, for our family, friends, strangers, and yes, even (dare I say
it?) those we disagree with and consider enemies. You and I didn’t ask to enter
into consciousness, but here we all are. How are you going to use your life?
