Thousands of
people are crammed into a stadium, brimming with nervous energy. Each person looks
around, first at the people around them, and then at their new surroundings.
Fear and a dash of excitement rushes through each individual. After what seems
like hours of inspirational speeches, the people are finally
released and proceed to stampede through their new territory, jittery with
nerves and a fear of uncertainty. Is this a football game?
Nope, it’s what every freshman and upperclassman dreads-Freshman Orientation
Week.
Let’s face it, no one likes college orientation
week! The poor freshmen are bombarded by lectures, speeches, and too much information
about college life to absorb-as if they weren't nervous enough. And while the
freshmen’s worlds are being turned upside down with the fear of a new beginning
and an uncertain future, the upperclassmen are surrounded by jumpy, awkward
people who, in turn, throw off the balance of the upperclassmen’s well-kept
home away from home. And let’s not
forget the poor administrators and professors, who have double the amount of
paper work to complete and a long list of names to learn before classes
begin.
It is in this
atmosphere that I find myself in as I begin my sophomore year at Stetson. In
fact, as I’m writing this blog entry in my lovely new dorm room, I can hear the
nervous chatter pouring out of the new students’ mouths. Honestly, I sympathize
with them. My first semester of college was terrifying for me, especially being
the introvert that I am. I was uprooted from my cozy home of 18 years and had
miles placed between myself and my family/closest friends, and on top of all
that I was expected to automatically adjust to a world where everyone seems to
either party, study, or sleep. Uncertainty
filled my mind constantly. What should my major be? Will I make friends quickly? Is
my roommate going to be nice (Update: She is!)? Will I find a job? How will my
faith life hold up in this new environment? The list goes on and on.
But this uncertainty isn't simply a college
struggle. We've all gone through that first day in a new town or in job training where everything seems upside down. Luckily for us, humans have this
fantastic ability to adjust quickly to the most absurd and bizarre situations
(I’m pointing at you, college life!). But as we are adjusting it feels like
hell. Our minds race a million miles an hour, our hearts beat out of their chests,
adrenaline flows, fears settle in.
I am learning
as I grow older that uncertainty is just
another fact of life, and humanity is the only species on Earth that seems
to be unable to reconcile itself to this notion. Not just in everyday life, but
in metaphysical ways as well. All of humanity is trying to find a meaning to
this miracle we call life and erase the uncertainty of death and evil. As my
favorite singer, Jon Foreman of Switchfoot, puts it, “We’re looking for the
rhyme and reason.” Inside all of us is this unquenchable desire for purpose and
certainty. Yet as we look around at life, all we see is uncertainty in our
work, grades, jobs, and friendships and frankly, that freaks us out.
To get rid of
the anxiety and uncertainty, some people busy their lives up so much that they
can almost successfully avoid thinking about these metaphysical questions.
Other people throw their hands up and state that there is no higher meaning to
our random, chance existence in this universe. Still others search their entire lives
for a higher Being, or beings, who can give our lives and this universe meaning and purpose. Yet two things remains constant for us all, no matter our
beliefs: We desperately want a purpose
for this life, and we must come to terms with the fact that not every answer
can have 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, certainty. And that’s where
faith comes in to play.
You and I live by faith every day, whether
we acknowledge it or not. Atheists, theists, agnostics, deists-we all think that our philosophy of life is best, but when it comes down to it, we all have faith that we are correct. Let me put it this way: If there
was 100% scientific evidence that God does or does not exist, or that there is
inherent meaning to this life outside of our own fabrications, then nearly everyone
would be in agreement about these issues, just like we all agree that gravity
exists and that water is good for you. There would be no need for existentialism,
metaphysics, nihilism, theism, and the many other branches of philosophical
thought. But this isn't the case, and I don’t believe it will ever will be. Meaning,
love, and hope are not facts, like 1+1=2, but rather are intellectual and
heartfelt choices of faith.
Some of you
may be saying, “Well, certainly there is more evidence for some types of faith
over other types.” And to that I would say you are absolutely right-probability
and evidence play huge roles in what each one of us believes in. I think that
some beliefs have more evidence and a much higher probability of being correct
than others. But that’s not the point. The
point is that you can never erase all of the doubts for everyone forever, and
that is where faith steps in.
With all of
its joys and pains, life is the embodiment of uncertainty. But I also believe that
life, with all of its uncertainty, is simply
a quest to find out the answers to these all-encompassing questions. To
find truth, meaning, something for us to hold onto as we live our day to day
lives with love for one another. So to myself and to you: Keep on seeking. Ask
the hard questions. Humble yourself enough to talk to those who have lived a
bit longer on this Earth than you. You are never too old to learn a new piece
of truth. But even if the answers to these hard questions seem to slip away
from you for a time, never give up. Fight as if your life’s meaning depends on
it, because it does. Despite all of the doubts and struggles, faith is perhaps
the most beautiful and misunderstood expression of understanding- fight for it.
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